…no seriously, you should have seen him, because I didn’t. As far as I can tell the driver and occupants of this car scarpered after slamming into the back of the minivan taxi cab that was taking me to London Waterloo station at 05h00 this morning. Voices overheard immediately after the accident included “you were doing at least sixty over the bridge” and “I told you, man, airbags…”

I’m fine (I think – I’m about to go to a clinic for a check up here in Haarlem) but my wanky metal specs are slightly bent and they in turn gave me a few cuts around my eyes. My fault for choosing sharply styled specs? No – my fault for not wearing a seat belt, and being thrown forward after the initial shunt, when the minivan hit the car in front. Don’t feel sorry for me – feel sorry for the driver of my cab. I was his first shift of the weekend, and he didn’t even get my fare before his car was written off.